Intrusive Thoughts

Vasilis Bellos
/
Intrusive Thoughts
on 7 Nov 2026
1
29
3
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9997
game.m
function g=game
% Intrusive Thoughts
% Director Bland has seven questions. Your brain has several terrible suggestions.
% Run your mouth, test his patience, and try to leave with a Normal Person License.
% A game with no filter. Play it safe, or blurt out the thoughts that never should
% have left your mouth to reach all five different endings.
g.init=@I;g.update=@U;g.render=@R;
end
function s=I(ax)
%Create the pixel stage and the fixed text pool
set(ax,YDir='reverse',XLim=[0 800],YLim=[0 600],Color='#172b32');
s.p=uint8(K('专丞丨东丯丹丫乄么乁乜乗乛乷书亙产亅仞今些仺仫仃乻久乂亱乩乔仝亙买价亿事仿仗亥乁中丶乣乂乄亖乘乓仐乜乛仹乺乭仮亹乒仿仝乸乡亶亦交仟亾仮仵他乜亅五',3));
s.b=B(2*ones(150,200),K('一一仈不丁一不仈乄七一之仈万与一乌仈丂丏一乑仈久丁丄丑义丹丂丅丒乇丷丄乒丒乱为丁乓专乯丸万乔且乭丶丈乐丨丅丅丈丈丕不专丁三世下丑专上丗三丏万上丘三丌丈下丙万丁与下东万丁丆下丞丄丁丆丏丠七七专与両丅丁专丏丣丁丁丐丑丣丁丁丐丼丕丌专丂丽世上丑丆举丗丈丏七丿丘丆丁万丿丛丆丁万丿丞丆丁万丿両丄丁万丈举下丌与万丽不七丐丌丯丂与丅丈丱丄七丅与丵丄七丅上丸七丂丆举乂三万丗乀乁丅丁丗乇乃七丄万丿乄万丁丘世乎丨丁专',5));
s.f=B(zeros(61,64),K('万串串下丁上中丬丐丁与丫两丒丘丑丫丞丒七世丬且丑丗丛丧上上三东丧丈三下丙丮与丅丈丞串丄下丐丝临丆丅丑丐中丅下丂丫中丅下丂专丯丅下丄丨丯丅下丄上丕丬丑丁三丘丮上丁上丙丬丈上丌丛丨丄三丏丌丢东丁丒万东严丁世丄且个丁丘七丐丫丁丐丏丠丗上专三业丠下丗丆丒丣丌业丅丌丟丌丕不丗丗丌世三万七不丙万上丂不丐丒丄三与丬丒丄三与丏且七三与丮且七三与专丢丅丅下丨丢丅丅上丗丧丒七上业个丌丂三丝丙丆三上丝丙丄丆不东丟三七三丝丞万七下',5));
% One row per question: question, answers and reactions.
% "What brings you here?" "I'd like my Normal Person License." "I heard you were short-staffed." "Is that mustache a choice, or a cry for help?" "Excellent. A sentence with no victims." "My height is not a staffing issue." "This mustache has security clearance."
% "What is your greatest strength?" "Knowing when to stop talking." "I'm outstanding in any field. The farmers hate it." "Guessing passwords. Yours is Mustache1." "A rare skill. Demonstrate it." "Trespassing. Noted." "It has an exclamation mark. ...HAD."
% "A colleague says: 'I'm feeling a little down.' You say?" "Would you like to talk?" "Have you tried being a little up?" "Is this about your hairline?" "Compassion. I remember that from training." "They need support. Not directions." "My hairline is not on trial."
% "We are like a family here. Any questions?" "What are the working hours?" "So you're the short-tempered relative?" "That explains the guilt and no money." "All of them. We are a very close family." "I prefer 'concentrated authority'." "We prefer 'emotionally competitive salary'."
% "How do you handle pressure?" "Take a breath. Prioritize." "A stiff upper lip. Can I borrow yours?" "You tell me. Your collar is losing custody." "Good. Save the breakdown for your lunch break." "This is a professional mustache. It does not freelance." "This is a tailored fit. The tailor has been fired."
% "Why should I trust you?" "Because I'll tell you the truth." "Ask my lie-ability insurance." "Your mustache looks more trustworthy than you." "Refreshingly direct. Suspicious." "Denied. You ARE the liability." "It passed the background check. You haven't."
% "Final question. Any last remarks?" "Thank you for your time." "No. I've reached my pun-tential." "Yes. Your job could be a CAPTCHA." "Thank you for leaving some of it intact." "That is QUITE enough lip." "I AM NOT A ROBOT. I checked the box."
s.d=reshape(split(D('秨维幢蝩蕧螠諯袠艥蝥淾犧耠葩菥幭誠畯蝭绬幐胲蟯蔠瑩翥蕳肮赉幨胡蝤幹藵幷胲肠蟨藲蠭蟴绦腥耮赉螠表维幭裳衡翨肠纠翨藩翥搠藲幡幣蝹幦藲幨胬蘿赅詣胬葥蕴攠溠蟥蕴胮翥幷苴舠蕯并苣衩蓳敾瓹幨胩臨蠠苳幮藴幡平衡腦苮膠苳蟵肮赔艩螠蓵蟴绣艥幨绳平胣裲苴誠翬胡蝡蕣肮赗艡蠠苳幹藵蜠臲胡补蟴平衲胮致舿赋蕯觩蕧幷艥蔠衯平衯蘠衡葫苮膮赉懭幯裴蟴绮聩蕧幩蔠绮誠腩胬耮幔艥幦绲蓥蝳幨维肠苴敾燵胳蟩蕧幰绳蟷藲聳攠端裲螠苳幍裳衡翨肱敾溠蝡蝥平菩葬攠灥蓯蕳衲维肠苴敾硲胳虡蟳苮膮幎藴胤敾狴幨绳幡蔠胸翬续维苯蔠蓡蝫攠攮效滄敾溠翯葬胡臵肠蟡諳欠應懭幦胥葩蕧幡幬苴衬肠聯觮攧幙藵平绹淾积裬耠諯袠葩菥年薠衡葫淾牡襥幹藵年蝩胤幢胩蕧幡幬苴衬肠裰淾狳年艩螠绢藵蠠諯裲幨绩蝬苮肿赃藭虡蟳苯蔮幉干胭胭罥蜠表维幦蝯蒠衲绩蕩蕧敾硨胹幮胥耠蟵虰藲蠮幎藴幤苲胣衩藮螮赍誠艡苲葩蕥幩螠蕯蠠藮年蝩绬敾秥幡蝥幬苫肠纠腡蓩葹幨胲肮幁蕹幱裥蟴苯蕳淾秨维幡蝥年艥幷藲菩蕧幨藵蝳淾矯幹藵懲肠表肠蟨藲蠭补蓰胲胤干胬维苶肿赔艡蠠胸虬绩蕳年艥幧裩葴幡蕤幮薠蓯蕥誮赁葬幯脠表胭攠秥幡蝥幡并胲誠翬藳肠腡蓩葹敾犠虲胦胲帧翯蕣胮衲维胤幡裴良蝩衹憮赗肠虲胦胲帧胭藴苯蕡葬誠翯蓰胴苴苶肠蟡葡蝹憮赈藷幤薠諯袠艡蕤葥幰蝥蟳裲肿赔绫肠纠署胡表攠癲苯蝩衩譥敾溠蟴苦脠裰虥蜠葩蘮幃绮幉幢藲蝯覠諯裲螿赙藵年胬萠蓥攠端裲幣藬葡蜠苳幬藳苮膠翵蟴藤誮赇藯耮幓绶肠表肠署胡菤藷蔠腯蜠諯裲幬裮翨幢蝥绫敾硨苳幩螠纠虲藦胳蟩藮绬幭裳衡翨肮幉蠠聯胳幮藴幦蝥胬绮翥敾硨苳幩螠纠衡苬藲胤幦苴攠硨肠衡苬藲幨绳幢胥蔠腩蝥耮赗艹平良裬耠犠衲裳蠠諯袿赂胣绵蟥幉懬萠补葬幹藵年艥年蝵表敾滳莠蓹幬若擡罩葩衹幩蕳裲绮翥敾端裲幭裳衡翨肠葯藫螠蓯蝥年蝵蟴觯蝴艹年艡蔠諯袮赒胦蝥蟨苮臬誠聩蝥翴攠矵蟰苣苯裳敾灥蕩胤攠端袠滒炠表肠葩绢苬苴誮赉蠠虡蟳胤年艥幢绣菧蝯裮耠翨胣莮幙藵幨绶胮懴敾煩蕡萠蛵胳衩藮攠滮誠葡蟴干胭绲菳淾硨绮莠諯袠腯蜠諯裲年苭肮赎薮幉懶肠蝥绣艥耠蓹幰裮擴胮衩绬敾童螮幙藵蜠药缠翯裬耠罥幡幃滐硃牁敾硨绮莠諯袠腯蜠葥绶苮膠蟯蓥幯脠苴幩蕴绣蠮赔艡蠠苳幑磉硅幥蕯裧舠葩蘮赉幁璠畏砠溠睏潏砮幉幣艥翫胤年艥幢藸攠'),'~'),7,[])';
% "APPROVED: OFFICE FURNITURE" "You are so normal that he hires you as a filing cabinet.|Your first review: 'Top-drawer performance.'"
% "LICENSED TO GROAN" "Bland stamps APPROVED just to get rid of you.|Your license is valid everywhere except near him.|You have the upper hand. He demands a stepladder."
% "MUSTACHE: UNEMPLOYED" "Bland stamps DENIED so hard his mustache resigns.|Security pursues it with a tiny net.|The mustache gets your license."
% "PROMOTED TO BLAND" "You have exactly the empathy required for management.|Tomorrow, you ask the questions.|He leaves big shoes to fill. Size three."
% "CONDITIONALLY HUMAN" "License granted. Mouth on probation.|You may attend small talk with a responsible adult.|Bland objects to the phrase 'small talk'."
s.e=reshape(split(D('滐癒痖烄欠痆煉濅幆磒畉硕睅赙藵幡蝥平薠蕯蝭绬年艡蠠艥幨苲胳幹藵幡螠纠腩葩蕧幣绢苮胴敼端裲幦苲蟴干胶若覺帧硯蘭聲绷胲幰胲腯蝭绮翥攧赌狃烎矅瀠硏幇睏滎赂葡蕤平衡蓰螠滐癒痖烄幪裳蠠衯幧胴干苤幯脠諯袮豙藵蜠葩翥蕳肠苳并绬苤幥襥蝹觨胲肠胸翥虴幮胡蜠艩蒮豙藵幨绶肠表肠裰虥蜠艡蕤攠牥幤胭绮聳幡平补虬绤聥蜮赍磓硁濈為幕畅瓐瑏竅灾潬绮耠蟴续虳幄烎狅瀠蟯幨绲耠艩螠蓵蟴绣艥干胳苧蕳敼知翵蝩衹幰裲蟵胳幩蠠觩表幡年苮誠蕥蠮豔艥幭裳衡翨肠臥衳幹藵蜠葩翥蕳肮赐睏瓏硅瀠硏幂瑁畄赙藵幨绶肠胸绣衬誠表肠胭虡表誠蝥蛵苲胤幦藲幭绮继胭胮蠮豔藭藲蝯覬幹藵幡蟫年艥幱裥蟴苯蕳敼牥幬胡襥螠罩膠蟨藥螠衯幦苬萮幓苺肠表蝥肮赃痎灉硉痎滌瑙幈磍滎赌苣胮蟥幧蝡蕴胤攠瓯裴舠藮幰蝯罡衩藮敼端袠蓡誠维补蕤平蓡葬年绬莠觩表幡干胳虯蕳苢葥幡聵葴敼潬绮耠藢荥翴螠衯年艥幰色绳肠懳蓡葬年绬莧攠'),'~'),2,[])';
s.seen=zeros(1,5);s=N(s);s.m=0;
s.h=image(ax,XData=[2 798],YData=[2 598],CData=zeros(150,200,3,'uint8'),Interpolation='nearest');
% Text pool
xy=K('丘业世儈业与你乤丏你亏专你仸不乀佷丒乀侻丒乀俿丒侐偃丏亨伤不',3);
s.t=gobjects(1,10);
for k=1:10
s.t(k)=text(ax,xy(k,1),xy(k,2),'',FontName='FixedWidth',FontUnits='pixels',FontSize=xy(k,3),Color='#faebc3',Interpreter='none',VerticalAlignment='middle');
end
set(s.t([2 9 10]),HorizontalAlignment='center');set(s.t(2),HorizontalAlignment='right');set(s.t(3:5),Color='#412d36');
set(s.t([1 3]),FontWeight='bold');set(s.t(4:5),VerticalAlignment='top');
set(findobj(ax,'-not','Type','axes'),HitTest='off',PickableParts='none');
end
function s=N(s)
% Reset this interview, retaining the ending collection and graphics
s.m=1;s.q=1;s.c=0;s.ti=0;s.a=1;s.v=zeros(1,3);s.g=0;s.end=0;
end
function s=U(s,dt,p)
% Select the option displayed on the preceding frame, then advance clocks
a=1+mod(floor(max(0,s.c-1)/(2.4-min(.4,(s.q-1)*.07))),3);
s.ti=s.ti+dt;s.c=s.c+dt;
if p
if s.m==0 || s.m==3 && s.c>.8
s=N(s);
elseif s.m==1
cost=[-12 14 27];s.a=a;s.v(a)=s.v(a)+1;s.g=max(0,min(100,s.g+cost(a)));s.m=2;s.c=0;
elseif s.m==2 && s.c>1
if s.g>=100 || s.q==7
s.end=5;
if s.v(1)>=6,s.end=1;end
if s.v(2)>=4,s.end=2;end
if s.v(2)>=2 && s.v(3)>=2,s.end=4;end
if s.g>=100,s.end=3;end
s.seen(s.end)=1;s.m=3;
else
s.q=s.q+1;s.m=1;
end
s.c=0;
end
end
end
function R(~,s)
% Paint one indexed pixel canvas and mutate the ten existing labels only
b=s.b;p=s.p;t=s.ti;m=s.m;z=s.c;
hot=s.g/100;hit=(m==2)*exp(-2*z)*(s.a>1);
happy=m==3 && s.end==2 || m==2 && s.a==2 && s.v(2)>=3;
f=s.f;
% Eye whites, roaming pupils, blink, eyebrows, mustache, mouth and jaw
blink=mod(t+1,4.3)<.13 || hot>.6 && mod(t,.7)<.08;look=round(sin(t*.7));
talk=(m==2 && z<2.2)*round(2*abs(sin(z*15)));
f=B(f,[20 23 9 5 23;35 23 9 5 23;24+look 24 3 4 1;37+look 24 3 4 1;20 23 9 1+4*blink 11;35 23 9 1+4*blink 11;23 36 18 3+talk+round(3*hit) 1;25 36 14 1 23;27 42 10 1 10]);
v=round(3*hot*~happy);f=B(f,[19 18 4 2 14;23 18+round(v/2) 3 2 14;26 18+v 3 2 14;35 18+v 3 2 14;38 18+round(v/2) 3 2 14;41 18 4 2 14]);
if m==2 && s.a==3 && z<.4
f=B(f,[20 21 9 7 23;35 21 9 7 23;24 23 2 3 1;38 23 2 3 1]);
end
if happy
f=B(f,K('且丘三丂与丣丘三丂与丙两与丅丁丛严上丂丗丝丨丆丁丒',5));
end
% A two-lobed mustache can detach in the red-tape ending
escape=m==3 && s.end==3;
if ~escape
f=B(f,K('世両且七与且丢万七与严丢万七与丗両万丁丏丣両丅丁丏',5));
end
if hot>.5
f=B(f,[39 13 2 4 17;37 15 6 1 17;41 16 2 2 17]);
end
x=10+round((1+4*hot)*sin(t*57)*hit+2*hot*sin(t*41));y=18+round(sin(t*2)*.5+happy*abs(sin(t*9))*2);
[r,c]=find(f);b(r+150*(c+x-1)+y)=f(f>0);
if escape
mx=round(32-10*min(z,2));my=round(51-12*z);
b=B(b,[mx my 20 3 14;mx-2 my+1 7 3 14;mx+15 my+1 7 3 14]);
end
% Desk occludes the jacket; tense fists land on its edge
b=B(b,K('一之乎万与一乌乎丂丏三乊上七下举乊上七下下乊丁丂三与乊丁丂三乀乊丁丂三乃乊丁丂三丙乆丢丆万业乇丠丄丁',5));
% Red flush uses the same five skin shades, preserving pixel shading
p(9:13,:)=uint8(double(p(9:13,:))*(1-.7*hot)+[244 59 68]*(.7*hot));
if hot>.4
b=B(b,[x+50 y+26+round(mod(t*9,9)) 2 3 24]);
for k=1:3
q=mod(t*8+k*7,18);b=B(b,[12+k*18 28-round(q) 2 3 7]);
end
end
b=B(b,[85 69 105 2 6;85 69 max(1,round(105*hot)) 2 17]);
head="INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS";stat="INTERVIEW "+s.q+" / 7";who="DIRECTOR BLAND";say=s.d(s.q,1);aside="";foot=D('硁瘠蟰胡菳年艥幣裲蝥蕴年良裧艴攠秡苴苮膠蓯襥螠藮年薠表肠蕥詴幯蕥攊硨胹幬藯蘮幔绫肠諯裲年苭肮');
cards=s.d(s.q,2:4);sel=0;
if s.q==7 && s.v(2)-(m==2 && s.a==2)>=3,cards(2)="No. I mustache you one last question.";end
if m==0
stat="NORMALITY DEPARTMENT";who="YOUR FINAL INTERVIEW";say="Seven questions. One Normal|Person License.|Try not to be yourself.";
aside="Your brain has brought suggestions.|None were requested.";
cards=["A sensible answer." "A pun. Technically a sentence." "A thought that should have stayed inside."];foot="SPACE / CLICK TO START - Your mouth is now a liability.";
sel=1+mod(floor(t/2.4),3);
elseif m==1
u=max(0,z-1)/(2.4-min(.4,(s.q-1)*.07));sel=1+mod(floor(u),3);
aside="COMPOSURE: "+round(100-s.g)+"%";
if s.q==7 && s.v(2)>=3,say="Final question. Can you finish without another pun?";end
elseif m==2
sel=s.a;who="BLAND / DAMAGE REPORT";say=s.d(s.q,s.a+4);
if z<.4,say="...";end
as=["He checks for a hidden punchline." "His patience just got a little shorter." "The mustache has requested a lawyer."];aside=as(s.a);foot="TAP TO CONTINUE THE DAMAGE";
if s.a==1,foot="TAP TO CONTINUE THE INTERVIEW";end
elseif m==3
stat="ENDINGS "+sum(s.seen)+" / 5";who="OFFICIAL VERDICT";say=s.e(s.end,1);aside="Normal: "+s.v(1)+"   Puns: "+s.v(2)+"   Personal: "+s.v(3);
cards=split(s.e(s.end,2),'|')';cards(end+1:3)="";foot="TAP FOR ANOTHER INTERVIEW  /  "+sum(s.seen)+" OF 5 ENDINGS";
end
for k=1:3
color=3;ink='#faebc3';
if k==sel,color=21;ink='#131e28';end
b=B(b,[6 69+17*k 188 15 2;7 68+17*k 186 15 color]);
if k==sel,b=B(b,[9 73+17*k 2 5 1;11 74+17*k 2 3 1]);end
J(s.t(k+5),cards(k));set(s.t(k+5),Color=ink);
end
if m==1
b=B(b,[11 82+17*sel 178 1 2;11 82+17*sel max(1,round(178*(1-mod(u,1)))) 1 19]);
end
% Light falls through the blinds; subtle rim line anchors the portrait
b(20:4:72,6:8)=5;
s.h.CData=reshape(p(b(:),:),150,200,3);
J(s.t(1),head);J(s.t(2),stat);J(s.t(3),who);J(s.t(4),W(say,34));J(s.t(5),W(aside,43));J(s.t(9),foot);J(s.t(10),"D. BLAND");
end
function a=B(a,d)
% B Stamp pixel rectangles, clipping rows above the top of the canvas
for j=1:size(d,1)
v=d(j,:);r=v(2)+(1:v(4));a(r(r>0),v(1)+(1:v(3)))=v(5);
end
end
function J(h,v)
% Cache complete captions, including blank lines, without repeated UI writes
if ~isequal(h.UserData,v),h.String=v;h.UserData=v;end
end
function o=W(v,n)
% Wrap dialogue at word boundaries, retaining deliberate line breaks
o="";k=0;
for w=split(replace(v,'|',' | '))'
if w=="|" || k+strlength(w)>n,o=o+newline;k=0;end
if w~="|",o=o+w+" ";k=k+strlength(w)+1;end
end
end
function v=K(v,n)
% Decode integer tables
v=reshape(double(v)-19968,n,[])';
end
function v=D(v)
% Decode paired ASCII prose
v=double(v)-19968;v=strip(string(char(reshape([floor(v/128);mod(v,128)],1,[]))));
end
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